Hello everyone! This post is a mixed bag of updates: some small updates on Olivia and Jeremy. And then me sharing my thoughts on us approaching the many anniversaries we will be having over the next five months. We have big appointments happening next week, so we will have more to share on Olivia after that.
A few updates on Livy: Since being on oxygen at night, she has continued to eat better for the most part. She still only eats while sleeping, but eating more and hitting her minimum or more on most days. Liv is doing great with her milestones. She is crawling everywhere. No more days where we could sit her down and go do something. She is beginning to pull herself up also, so I feel like walking is in our near future. She waves all the time now and it is so cute. She adds a flick of the wrist to it.
Here are some pics of Liv from the last month:
Last month we celebrated Jeremy’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary by doing family photos. They turned out so great, and I am so thankful to have them. I really lucked out with having amazing in-laws. From the early days of Jeremy and me dating, I always felt so accepted. Especially since I am a Dodgers and Cowboys fan 😉 They have been there for us through some tough times and I am so thankful. They have set a great example for Jeremy and I. We can only hope that our marriage stays as strong and consistent as theirs.
Quick update on Jer: He is still loving his new job. He has started back in his bowling league. Next weekend he will be attending the Men’s Conference at a church we were attending. We loved going to River City and had friends there, but the commute was getting to be too much with Liv especially with me starting to volunteer at the NICU. We checked out a couple of churches closer to us and found our new home church, Bayside’s Blue Oaks Campus. We really love the pastor there and are so excited to get more involved and grow there.
I have volunteered at the NICU twice so far. It has been really nice to see so many people that we know from our stay. I have gotten to meet many parents. Not all of them have wanted to talk, which is totally fine. But I have had some good conversations with at least six parents. I think the more I am there and people see me, they may want to connect. But I know not everyone wants to talk about what they are going through and that is OK too. I just want to help in whatever way I can. The first time I volunteered I was unsure of how I would do. If I would be OK being back in the NICU and I actually did really well. I have heard the alarms go off and the beeps, and have not had a trauma response. I would like to give my therapist a shout out for all the work we have done. Thank you, Elizabeth!
Now to the meat and potatoes…today is the anniversary of when I was admitted to the hospital. It is so crazy to think that it has already been a year. I can remember that day and the events so vividly. I am actually writing this blog the night before, but Jer is already asleep, so he won’t be able to proof it until the 18th. I have talked to and read many mom’s experiences for all the anniversaries that we are about to encounter and everyone of course feels different things. I am hopeful that I will be OK, but like most things, you won’t really know until it happens. I have a full day in the office, so I am hoping I will be fine. I will definitely be distracted for a good chunk of the day.
Monday is Liv’s birthday. Our little girl is turning one! It is honestly shocking. Even though we have had trials, she has come so far and continues to inspire us everyday. Birthdays are very loaded for mom’s who had a traumatic birth. There is no other trauma where you are required to make it a celebration. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited for Liv to turn one and I am definitely trying to focus on the positive, but it is hard to overlook that 9.22.24 was the most traumatic day of my life, either of us could have died. I talk a lot about the NICU staff, but the High Risk L&D staff at Sutter were rock stars and took such good care of me. They were with me for 10 days, which felt like an eternity and I am so grateful for them.
For the next five months, it is going to be a constant look back at where we were last year and what was going on. I am prepared to allow myself to feel all of the emotions. I will be posting some photos of Olivia from the past to compare with her today. It is sometimes hard to remember and comprehend just how little she was. The holidays are going to look and feel much different. Granted they are not Liv’s firsts, but they will be her first at home. It’s kind of like a redo. And it will be so nice to not have to split our time or feel guilty for not being with her 24/7 on those special days.
OK, I think that is it for now. I am not going to update Olivia’s numbers since we haven’t had an appt in awhile. But the next post will have all that good stuff.
Until next time…
The One... 