Friendship. Something I’ve wanted to write about for a long time. But could never get myself to do it. Number one reason: I don’t want people to feel offended or upset if they think I’m talking about them. But this is something that needs to be talked about. It is something that I need to work on. The art of friendship has been lost and we need to reclaim it.
What is the root of the problem? A few issues I see:
1. Social Media. It fakes us into believing we are keeping in contact with each other. In reality, we’re not. Reading people’s status updates, making a comments here and there, gives us a false sense of community. These days a phone call, snail mail, or even a personalized e-mail go a long way to stay in touch with those in your inner circle. Something to think about.
2. Busyness. Everyone gets caught up in their everyday tasks. Work, errands, gym, clean, tv shows, etc. None of these things are bad. But sometimes we allow them to take over our entire days and before we know it, a week has passed and we haven’t connected with anyone. We need slow down. Find a moment to contact a friend, a phone call, grabbing some froyo, or taking a walk. DO IT!
3. Laziness. We have it in the back of our minds to reach out, but for whatever reason, we just don’t. It’s because we are lazy. We don’t want to make the effort. We give the excuse of “tomorrow,” and it never comes.
4. Waiting Game. This is the one I have struggled with the most lately. Here is my honesty and vulnerability coming straight out. I have stopped reaching out to a lot of my friends because I have become tired of being the one to put in the effort. In a lot of my relationships I feel like the only time I talk, see, and get together with people is because I’m the one who has called, been persistent, and made the effort. And I got tired of it. Tired of the one-way friendship.
This is when the mind begins to plant nasty things in your head. You start to wonder if they really do want to be your friend, if they even like you, have you done something wrong, are you annoying, etc. When in reality they may be struggling with the first 3 issues I described.
At Mosaic we are going through a series based on Proverbs, “Wisdom for Life.” This week was all about friendship and I was reminded of some great pieces of scripture:
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another, Proverbs 27:17
A friend loves at all times… Proverbs 17:17
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed, Proverbs 15:22
So, here’s the game plan: write out a list of your friends. Those that live near you and those that do not. Next to each name write an action step i.e. call, e-mail, write letter, meet-up, etc. And then give yourself a deadline for each one. They don’t all have to be in one week. It would be unrealistic to try. But spread it out. And see what happens. See how your demeanor changes. And how your connection with true community comes alive. I’m ready for some revitalized friendships!
I really would like to hear from you, if you decide to do this. Feel free to comment below to have an open discussion or contact me directly.
Until next time…PEACE OUT!
The One... 